Making THE Checklist to a Lifetime Loving Relationship

Yesterday I had received my very first newsletter from Craig Williamson, Life and Performance Coach after joining his "Live Your Dreams" group a few days back. What I found most interesting was the part where he had quoted what Keith Cunningham had shared with him on how to create a happy fulfilling relationship.

In the newsletter it says -

"Keith who has been married to Sandy for over 20 years now first had a relationship with Sandy some years prior to their marriage but it didn't work out then. They had lost contact for a number of years since then. Then one day, Keith asked Sandy out on a dinner date and during dinner Keith asked what she really wanted in a relationship and to tell him everything that she needed to have a happy relationship. Sandy listed everything that she felt she needed for a happy relationship and one of the things on that list noted that she wanted a note from him every single day from him to really feel loved. So since then, Keith has written Sandy a note everyday."

With reference to the story above, I feel this works as a powerful tool to creating a loving relationship between two people. Everyone has different needs that would give us the feeling that we are loved, appreciated, etc by our partner. Sure, we can assume what our partner may need and what may make them happy from our own observation and in relation to our own experiences, beliefs, etc. We may guess it right and we may guess it wrong. 50-50 ratio.

So which is right and which is wrong? 
Who do you think knows the real truth to that question?

Of course your partner!

When you get to the main thing that can create that nice tingling warm feeling in your partner, you can surely make your partner happy and feel loved by you. Similar in a business sense, when you know what your client's real needs are, you can give them what they really want, they're happy and they would buy it.

Learning about each partner's needs and what works for them is really important to create a balanced and loving relationship that last a lifetime. There are the needs that are completely non-negotiable and of course there are the needs that are somewhat negotiable/flexible that could change through time (this could happen if either he/she is not clear of his/her needs at that time or the need has changed through time due to a particular reason). Both should be shared as and when you know with your significant other - make a check list from time to time to see if both are staying on track. Getting the list is obviously the first step. Next comes the action and following through again and again. With practice, this can and will become a natural routine within your relationship.

Another check list that you may want to create would be how each partner copes with stress and how you can best support them in those times. Lack of appropriate support may lead to unnecessary resentments which can lead to both parties feeling helpless and disconnect from each other.

This check list can be used in many areas in your life - both personal and professionally. Main areas - personal and work relationship, sexual relationship, conflicts, stress management, etc. You get the picture! ;)

YOU can choose pride and let your ignorance get the better of you or YOU can choose wisdom to create a loving lasting relationship for yourself with your partner! Which do you want to be? The choice is yours! 

Published on: Dec 4, 2008 @ 0:24